1) Lose 30 lbs

2) Write a screen play

3) Start my own local Amnesty group

Ok, so trying to lose weight sucks but I have to do it. I can’t take it! I’ve got less than 3 years until I’m 30 (catch me when I faint) and I do not, I repeat, do NOT want to be 30 lbs over weight when I turn 30. I am going to wear a scandalous bikini on my 30th B-day (which is in August) and I’m going to look totally, wicked awesome. Yaowza!

Next, write a screenplay. I’ve got the entire story in my head and I just need to get it all on paper. I can do it. Being an accounting vegetable is not my life and I’ll prove it! Watch out (ummm somebody, I guess) cause here I come! doing a split

Third and final (for now), start my own local Amnesty group. I’ve been getting involved lately with some human rights work, such as; participating in the 2008 Amnesty International Write-A-Thon (which I loved) and I just want to do more. Living in the USA, never being without a roof over my head or food in my belly (obviously, just look at #1 of this list) I have taken for granted all my good fortune for too long and I won’t do that anymore. Every life is too important to ignore, so I won’t, and I’m going to do all I can to help others who are homeless, hungry, victims of war and genocide, prisoners of conscience and all those who need my help.

I want peace and harmony for all and I don’t care how naive I may sound, I’m going to make it happen.

What a cutie, huh?

Awww, the reason this was such a nice Christmas was because instead of wasting time shopping and/or worrying about what to get one another we got to spend that time together.

Russ and I made graham cracker houses.

My little lemon house

...with a healthy garden...

...and happy people.

 Russ’s started out as a house but then turned into a robot monkey head.

weird, but cute

Gus napped while I watched the Dark Knight 4 times in a row... uber-geek, I know!

Oh my goodness, and I am very happy to say that I finally watched the movie Tootsie (very good by the way) so I was able to cross that off my bucket list.

All and all it was a very nice Christmas.

If anyone else reads this post, I hope you also had a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza and if you don’t celebrate anything, I hope you just had a nice week.

Here he is sporting his Obama gear. 

Bark for Obama

McCain doesn't really hate puppies; we're only joking.

My husband said to me on the way to the party “no politics” which I of course promised I wouldn’t bring up, and in all fairness I didn’t…  someone else did.

Seriously, how can you not talk politics a few days before, what I feel, is the most important election in our lifetime!? And I was surprised at how many people said they were not going to vote and/or will be voting for John McCain.

I’m sorry, I do not agree when someone says “politics are personal.” - Religion is personal; whether you’re Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, etc. really does not affect me. Your vote for the next president of the United States, however, does affect me so I’m gonna wanna know why you’re considering to vote for John McCain.

Oh yuck, I just put a candy in my mouth that is supposed to be pomegranate but it tastes like trees. Barf!

Anyway, I know Obama isn’t perfect and I sure as heck know that I’m not perfect so if you’ve got some actual, factual facts for me to support why you’re voting for John McCain I want to hear them. I want to know if there’s something I’m missing. Something the news hasn’t covered that would persuade me to think, “well hey, maybe McCain wouldn’t make such a terrible president” because believe me, if you have any proof of that I am all ears.

If you’re going to vote for a guy that I feel has shown nothing but ridiculousness throughout the last year with his disgusting, negative, inaccurate personal attack ads, slimy political schemes like purposing to stop the gas tax and suspending his campaign to “solve” the financial crisis and of course, don’t even get me started on his choice of running mates; you bet your bottom dollar I want to know why he’s got your vote.

Cause like it or not, your vote does put him one vote closer to becoming our next president and the thought of you making that decision with nothing to back it up makes me very sad.

I do feel bad though that I was so pushy (jerky) about the topic during a Halloween party where I’m sure the person(s) did not want to discuss the topic after all. So for that I am sorry. In any other situation though I would not be sorry for wanting to talk about something that should be very important to all of us. And if you don’t think it is an important topic then you shouldn’t vote.

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Ah, I bet this is how all new working puppy moms must feel.

And oh boy, as much as I’m tempted to say I’d rather be doing anything other than this, that would be a bit of a lie. I certainly wouldn’t rather be waxing my hairy neighbor’s back or singing backup for the Backstreet Boys (NKOTB… maybe, but definitely not Backstreet Boys) but there are plenty more realistic things I’d rather be doing. This, of course, brings me to my list of things I’d like to accomplish/do before I bite the big one.

I’m just going to list each thing, in no particular order, then comment on each of them as much or as little as I darn well please.

Drum roll, NOW! (I don’t think you should be polite when asking for a drum roll, it does not seem to warrant such courtesies)

• Read the last Harry Potter book
• Read every single book ever written by J.R.R. Tolkien
• Do at least one Volunteer Vacation
• Visit at least one museum in each of the 50 states
• Visit Ireland
• Sell my cupcakes somewhere (not those cupcakes you dirty perv)
• Learn to Snowshoe or find another winter sport/activity (1/10/09)
• Adopt a child
• Get a Potbellied Pig
• Have a beautiful Garden (even if it only lasts for one season)
• Watch the movie Tootsie (12/26/08)
• Run/Walk (walking is more realistic) for a cause I feel strongly about
• Learn another language
• See a hypnotist for my fear of bugs and snakes
• Write something that either gets published or made into a movie

So what is that, 15 things? I think I can manage that. There’s nothing too crazy on that list. - See, I am a pretty simple person.

Ok, so now I’m gonna kill some time talking about why each one of these things made it on my very special list.  WARNING! This may get quite boring so if you decide to navigate away from this page I will not be offended in the slightest.

First, the 7th and final Harry Potter… hello, i think that’s pretty self explanatory. I’ve read the first six at least twice so I’ve just gotta read the last one. See, if you read my post about there’s a (slight) chance i might be going to hell you’d know about my procastanationlyness when it comes to finishing books (yes, i made that word up, this is my blog so i can do that sort of thing).

yup, i gotta finish Harry Potter, I can’t believe no one has spoiled the ending for me yet. -If you make a comment on this post blowing the ending so help me God (waving my fist in fury)!

Second, we’ve got “read every single J.R.R. Tolkien book…” I love Lord of the Rings. I want to speak nothing but elvish all the time (ooh, remind me to keep that in the running for when I pick my second language) and I feel I owe it to Tolkien to read everything else he has ever written.

Third, I read about Volunteer Vacations on MSNBC once and have wanted to plan one ever since. I don’t feel like writing more about this one. If you want to learn more about Volunteer Vacations visit VolunTourism.org.

Fourth, this particular one I just came up with one day, thought it sounded like a cool way to get around the country (roar). I could be boring and just say that i want to visit all 50 states but if I add in an exciting stipulation like “it doesn’t count unless I visit a museum in the state” then that makes it’s much more interesting and gives me a bit of a challenge. I find if I set fun goals for myself I’ll be more likely to do things.

Fifth, Visit Ireland. -Guinness and leprechauns. Don’t think I need to elaborate on that one.

Six, (the one you’ve been waiting so patiently for) sell my cupcakes! I love baking, so this one should really be “sell my baked goods” and not limited to just cupcakes. I just think cupcakes are so cute though. I love things you can decorate; cakes, cupcakes, cookies… Cookies are definitely the best for decorating but I prefer cupcakes for eating.

Seven, learn to snowshoe. I don’t know, i just need a winter activity that’ll get my fat, lazy butt up during the long winter months. Laying on the couch all season eating lots of crap and watching really bad television is not a life, it’s a pathetic and uncomfortable (we need a new couch) smelly bus to death. plus, I think I’d look cute in a pair of big snowshoes.

Eight, adopt a child. I’d actually like to adopt a few children in addition to having a couple kids of my own. Yup, a real Bradgelina household. My husband and I are exactly like Brad and Angelina, just the poor and slightly less attractive versions. I’m sure their couch potato skills though have got nothing on ours, so you can just put that in your hat and swish it around, Bradgelina!

Nine, this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy came home with me and did my dishes. Potbellied pigs are just too flippin’ adorable, plus they are super smart. My piggy can beat your puppy at a game of Super Mario Bros any day!

Ten, have a garden. i’m a girl, i like flowers.

Eleven, watch Tootsie. I know, I know, it was up for best picture and would have won if it wasn’t for that skinny, bald guy spouting some junk about peace and whatnot; what was that guy’s name again? (j/k, I love Gandhi, the man, not the movie cause I haven’t seen that one either. I think I know what my next post is gonna be about…) So anyway, I’d like to be able to truthfully say I’ve seen Tootsie. Sure, I might have told you I’ve already seen it but that was a lie. Yeah, I do that sometimes, at least I’m being honest about now, right?

Twelve, walk for a cause. I’ve done the breast cancer walk a couple of times but that’s one disease I don’t think will miss me if I’m a no show next year. I’m certainly not making light of cancer, believe me, I’m just saying that I think that’s a cause that already gets so much attention and I feel that there are others out there I’d like to help raise money for and bring awareness to. plus I think there’s already a cure for cancer. -I’m thinking maybe a walk for poverty or AIDS or peace or something, I don’t know. All I do know is that it’s something I’ve got to research and then just sign up and do it.

Thirteen, Konnichiha! I’d love to learn Japanese. I’ve tried teaching it to myself but it just won’t stick. I took French and German in high school but again, don’t remember crap. I’m thinking maybe Vietnamese… There are a few shop guys at my work from Vietnam so that would be a good one to learn and actually be able to use. Or maybe I will try to get my husband to learn Elvish with me so that way we can speak it to one another. Then we can teach our kids… awww, I’ve got the best ideas, I really do.

Fourteen, I hate bugs and snakes so much, I genuinely wish I didn’t, but I do. I always thought maybe a hypnotist could help me but we’ll see. I’ll make an appointment and keep you posted.

Finally, Fifteen. Ahh, I’m sick of writing about all this stuff. I’ve got to p to the double E.

Post, Out.

you know, i really do not care for those people who always take a good picture, no matter what. Even when in person they are not looking so hot but once you get the film developed (or really, put the little camera chip thingie into the computer) and see the pictures they look fricken amazing! where as I, on the other hand, look not too shabby face to face but then look like a flippin’ wrinkly, old hippo wearing a dress two sizes too small in every photo. Not fair one bit.

i know, i really shouldn’t complain. I could look a zillion times worse. not that I’m saying I’m pretty or anything, I’m just saying I’m very fortunate that i don’t have a third eye or a big, thick beard or a pig’s snout, that’s all. I’m also so very fortunate that i have all my limbs, a brain, an ok job, a roof over my head and most importantly, a super wonderful husband and great family and friends.

God, I hope no one reads this post. i sound so ridiculously corny.

Russ, my hubby, set me up with this blog to help me start writing again. I used to write all the time but over the past few years I’ve stopped. although i certainly haven’t stopped talking about writing. I don’t know what my problem is, actually, that’s a lie, I know exactly what my problem is… I’m a  scared-y cat. I’m afraid of failure so that’s why i never do the things i really want to. it’s much safer to say what i want to do rather than grow a pair and just do it.

I’m a terrible reader too. I mean, i can read, i just suck at pronouncing most words and look like a total idiot when i try reading them aloud. so i try to avoid that. just so i’m clear, i can read words i consider difficult to pronounce, understand their meaning, but i’d be damned if you wanted me to read them to you. so please never ask me to.

i love Chowder! That is such a cute cartoon. The picture attached to this post is Chowder (left) and me (right) at the 2008 Comic Con in NY.

This is a useless post. OK, bedtime. Sleeptight!

I did laugh out loud a lot, but I also cried and gagged and swore off meat for life! No lie, I will never, ever, ever eat meat again.  It is now the end of July, I haven’t had any meat, I haven’t thought about having meat and I still get pretty darn grossed out when I see raw meat. I also try to avoid all other animal products, such as eggs, milk, CHEESE!

now, i know what you’re thinking, ” this girl is nuts! Total whack job!” because that’s pretty much how i always thought of vegetarians, not to mention vegans. I always pictured vegans as dirty, tree-hugging hippies, who loved animals more than human beings and would pour red paint all over women in furs and leather, set them on fire and feed their charred remains to their 20 cats… but now i know that was a pretty unfair assumption; only a small handful of vegans do that.  thinking all vegetarians/vegans are insane lunatics is like thinking every German is a nazi and every Baldwin can act. see, not always the case.  (yeah, I’m talking about you Stephen)

So, needless to say if i had any idea back in February what the heck the book was really about i’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have given Target my 13 bucks. but i didn’t know, so i did.

Of course I don’t regret reading it though, not one single bit, it showed me how ignorant I’ve been. I learned how intelligent pigs and cows really are, how unhealthy the meat we eat truly is, what exactly the meat we eat really is, where it’s actually coming from and also the affect it has on our environment. This book hits you with some hardcore scary facts. that’s right, FACTS! I’m not one of those people who believes everything they hear/read (I used to though until I started dating my husband) so I did research a lot of the info Skinny Bitch spouts and was real surprised to learn they weren’t bullshitting.

So go ahead, think I’m crazy, that’s fine by me, but I will never eat an animal again! Not to worry though, if I see you eating meat I won’t lecture you or make barfing noises in your general direction. No, I will sit there eating my veggie burger most likely across the table from my husband, who’s eating some sort of chicken dish (chicken is the grossest though, yuck, you have no idea, especially don’t buy Perdue, trust me, puke, nasty) and know i was once exactly like you. so i certainly have no right to criticize.

A year ago my favorite meal in the whole entire world was the filet mignon at Silo’s Steakhouse and if you would have told me back then that in a few months I’d swear off meat forever I would totally have peed myself laughing, took another bite of my steak and in mid-chew called you a fricken crackass!

Ok, i’m tired of writing about this topic now. I’m going to finish watching Super Troopers and get ready for bed. I know, I’m lame, I work real early in the mornings so i have to get to bed soon or I’ll be a crazy witch zombie tomorrow and no one likes dealing with me when i’m a CWZ! no matter how cool those initials may sound.

Photo Found on BEENTSY's Flickr Page

I finally read the last two chapters of there’s a (slight) chance i might be going to hell by Laurie Notaro and it was real cute. i started it like a month ago and got to the last couple chapters and just stopped. i don’t know why but for the past few weeks i just couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I do that with a lot of things though. I’m not a quitter but i just procrastinate for so long that you’d think I’ve quit when really, I’m just taking my sweet ass time getting to the finish line…

anyway, the book was about a woman named Maye, in her late twenties/early thirties ( can’t really remember since that was covered in the beginning of the book which i read 4 weeks ago, so I’m guessing it was somewhere around that age range) who moved from Arizona to the small town of Spaulding, WA with her husband Charlie, who accepted a teaching position there, and their talented dog Mickey. Maye was a funny, witty character (reminded me a lot of myself, j/k… nah, actually, i am pretty funny) whose mission once she got to Spaulding was to make at least one friend. Just one good friend that she could meet with for lunch or call when she was blue, you know, a good ol’ normal friend. And the book is pretty much all about what lengths she’d go to to get that one friend.

Well, I probably shouldn’t say much more than that cause i’m always spoiling the ends of things. not intentionally, of course, but i just never know when to stop. also, i’m pretty bad at deciphering between what is important to the plot and what isn’t. for instance, if i were trying to give you the gist of the movie Ghost it’d probably go something like this: “so Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze are married and then he gets murdered by a guy that his best friend hires to kill him…” ah ha, see? you see what i did there? if you hadn’t already seen the movie you’d realize half way into it that you are not supposed to know that his “best friend” was a murdering jerk. crap, did i just spoil that though. I’m assuming that everyone’s seen Ghost but if you haven’t, I am sorry for ruining it. Although, you should be a little sorry too for not seeing it since i’m sure you are probably the only person on earth who hasn’t and i bet you do not have a very good excuse for not seeing it.

so anyway, all I’m gonna say about the book is that it was a sweet story and I’d recommend it if you’re a girl/woman who has ever felt lonely and friendless and you’re in the mood for a nice little girl-power comedy.

Two thumbs up from me, Laurie Notaro! But who am i? I’m just a weirdo writing her first post for her new blog.